The Fruit Snack Tirade

I'm not sure what started causing my periodic episodes of intensity but perhaps a little analysis will help me figure it out so here it goes. I happened to get done with my workday early yesterday. I know most people would be happy to get done early and get to go home, right? So it was about 3:30pm, I get home, and the nanny leaves around 4pm. Mind you, I'd been on my feet a lot that day so my back hurt, my feet hurt...I was tired. But I was glad to play with Bubu for awhile regardless. We played and then he asks for fruit snacks. I look at the clock and since it's almost dinner time I said no. Meltdown. He asks for a popsicle, I said no. Meltdown. He wants a Pacifier, I said no. Meltdown. Then, of course, Peewee starts crying. I go to pick her up and Bubu totally loses it. So I'm thinking, what weird twilight zone am I in right now? And where's a razor blade when you need one?

The nanny told me Bubu didn't really eat his breakfast or lunch and I didn't think much of it until now. I realized Bubu has been running the show and he eats 18 packets of fruit snacks per day so why eat any real food? So, I manage to survive a dinner for Bubu where he eats nothing but 2 cookies. Meanwhile, I've resolved to just ignore Peewee crying until her father gets home to take care of her.

Everyone finally went to sleep and woke up at 5am. I don't know what came over me but there was no going back to bed after the early morning feeding. I actually started writing pages of instructions for the nanny, spilling all my thoughts, ideas, rules and regulations out on my notebook for Bubu. Then, when the nanny arrived this morning, I reviewed all that I had wrote down for her. I also hid the remaining fruit snacks and expressed for about 30 minutes how much I f---ing hate fruit snacks and that I never want to see them again, I'll never buy them again, and never speak of them again.

On my way home from work today, I made sure NOT to get home early. I was that asshole driving 45 on the freeway actually. And now in retrospect, I realize I may have scared the poor girl...with my crazy fruit snack tirade.