The Working Mom Analysis

A few months ago, I had a massive meltdown and it felt like just in the nick of time, I happened to find a job. Remember that? I do. Pretty vividly actually. And I'm pretty sure my husband and mother-in-law do too. So anyways, just to give you an update, I got called about another opportunity that seemed better all around and I recently accepted the new offer and switched jobs Dec. 1st. Over the past 4 or 5 months I've realized what it's really like to be a working mom. And it's taken awhile, but I finally feel like I can discuss it.

There are some mornings when Bubu cries hysterically because I'm leaving for work. It is truly heartbreaking and it makes me question leaving him. But then I leave and ask the nanny if he was okay after I left and she always says that as soon as I leave, he's totally fine. I wonder if I'll ever get over it, or when will he get over it, and when will Peewee start doing it? Eek. I have years of separation anxiety in front of me, so I guess that's a con.

But then I drive to work, I get my Starbucks and I don't have a double stroller with me. Did you know that it's a much quicker stop without the double stroller?? It is. I listen to the news instead of cartoons on the DVD player, and every other day I call my mom without interruption to let her know that Bubu and Peewee are fine. And I have to admit it, I like to work. I like accomplishing my work stuff. And I like contributing to our household income.

Then I come home. I cherish my time with the kids when I get home, and I'm so excited to see them. I try to cram in all the playtime I can, they help me fix dinner, we get ready for bedtime, and 9 times out of 10, it's a good time. Okay 8 times out of 10 it's a good time. And by 7:30pm I'm ready for them to go to bed.

I wonder, do they miss me all day? Are they somehow negatively impacted because I'm not the one caring for them 5 days a week? The nanny seems to be great so far, but I know it's not as good as I would do with my own kids, right? She cleans up the house every day though, which is awesome. But I wonder, will Peewee turn out okay? Will my kids appreciate the fact that we are working to provide for them?

In addition to my job, I also have the task of cooking, shopping, paying all the bills, oh and don't forget the all important, Target trips on my lunch break. Would it be easier if I just stayed home with the kids? Or would I start going nuts like before? I do miss the 10am playdates with my moms group so Bubu could play with other kids. I hope he doesn't turn into some anti-social loner uni-bomber kid. I guess I better find a preschool for him.

So there you have it. The pros and cons, the good and bad. Of course, we've all heard this one, that one way is not better than the other. Each of us choose what's right for us individually, right? I guess the true analysis will be many, many years from now when I ask Bubu and Peewee if they resent me for working when they were young. Maybe they'll understand, we will see...