General Upkeep

I've realized that I have friends in various stages of maternity and children so this posting is a random selection of thoughts, much like the Jack Handy random thoughts of Saturday Night Live Past. So, the two darkest times of pregnancy and post childbirth were when I was pregnant but had not popped yet and so no one in the general public could tell I was pregnant, I just looked large. And it would be rude if someone asked me if I were pregnant and I wasn't. So if you are in this stage currently, you should make a T-shirt that says "Yes, I'm pregnant." Wear it everyday. It will make you feel better. Trust me. The other dark period was after I gave birth and I somehow weighed the same as when I drove to the hospital. It's not logical and I did not fit into all the clothes in my closet for awhile. I would stare at my clothes every day, praying that they would still be somewhat in style when I finally fit into them again.

Now, I fit back into some of them, but as a Mom, I feel the need to not wear the slutty shit I used to wear. I didn't even consider this stuff slutty before! So maybe I should call them "not-so-conservative" clothes. Or basically, shirts that are too tight. Don't get me wrong, I want to be that "Hot Put-together Mom", who is accessorized and has her hair done. Really, I do. But I guess I must admit, that doesn't happen everyday.

Moving on to childbirth, if you can avoid a C-section, avoid it. Everyone who has had a C-section tells me that the scar is no big deal and it gets better over time, blah blah blah. They all say "Put some scar cream on it." Let me just say that Peewee is 8 months old today and I hate this f---ing scar. I don't know what else to say except it is f---ing gross and I hate it. And it itches.

Now for parenting random thoughts. I recently googled "How to potty train" and have decided that I'm not ready for that yet. I also googled "what do I feed my 8 month old" because it was only 17 months ago that I was feeding my previous 8 month old and that was SO long ago I have forgotten how babies work. I ignore Bubu's tantrums and try not to laugh at them when Peewee laughs at him. And it really is funny so it's seriously a challenge not to laugh. I have signed up Daddy and Bubu for spring soccer with a bunch of 2 year old kids, which I'm really excited about. Am I over-compensating for the fact that I wanted my parents put me in soccer or some other sport at a young age and they didn't? Maybe not. I know Bubu is little but I don't care, I just want him to go outside and run around.

I could go on with random thoughts forever but I'll just close with this. I loved Whitney Houston and she was such an amazingly gifted singer. Hearing her sing, to this day, will bring me to tears, and I love that about a beautiful voice and she definitely had a beautiful voice. Rest in Peace, Whitney. I admire your brilliant career.